Lobotomy Tool Travel Set
Beautifully crafted 14 piece tuck-and-go lobotomy travel set includes all the essentials needed for a successful lobotomy on the go. It’s every psychosurgeon’s dream! Opt for a personalized monogram to make the gift even more special. Set comes in a leather case with surgical stainless tools. Anesthesia not included. Monogram extra.
Rubber “Shrimp Boat/ECT” Boots
Perfect for the shock doc in your life! Protect him from the risk of accidental electroconvulsive shock treatment electrocution with these fashionable GRAY & ORANGE 16″ PVC WATERPROOF SLIP RESISTANT SOFT TOE RUBBER BOOTS. Just like you see on the shrimp boats. Remember, accidents do happen! Toilets can and do overflow while he’s got the juice on! The non-slip feature of these boots make them great for his after hours animal husbandry research, too. Double duty!
End of Medicaid Days Suicide Pill Kit
We all know what’s going to happen to the psychiatric drugging profession when Medicaid pulls the plug. Insurance carriers won’t be far behind! Buy them the gift that will help them prepare for the inevitable, the End of Medicaid Days Suicide Pill Kit! Comes in black, red or white.
Evidence-Based Language Course
With this course the psychiatrist in your life will learn how to slide the words “evidence based” into every situation, conversation, press release and marketing effort in 7 days, guaranteed! With all the pressure these days for psychiatrists to “prove it,” they need all the help they can get. This course will have them speaking the words “evidence based” in no time. Watch in amazement while they tell you (with a straight face) that the prescribing of psychotropic drugs to treat mental illness is “evidence based.”
Pavlov’s Drooling Dog Wine Server
Serve wine from a life-sized replica of Pavlov’s drooling dog. Simply push his tail and watch as the wine dribbles out of his mouth. These dogs have been carefully stuffed and preserved and carry certificates of authenticity from the Pavlov Museum. Great for office parties and pharmaceutical conferences!
John Wayne Gacy Clown Figurine from Royal Doulton
These unique hand-painted John Wayne Gacy clown figurines will please even the most discriminating psychiatrist. Each sculpture is named for Johnny’s “mood of the day” making them a special gift for any serial killer aficionado.
12 Months of Bedlam Calendar
This delightful calendar features 12 months of scenes from inside Bedlam, London’s premier psychiatric institution that started it all! See museum quality photos of shock treatment, lobotomy’s, ice baths, restraints, psychosurgery and more.
Thalidomide Tales Bedtime Story Book
Once upon a time there was Thalidomide…the psychiatric “sedative” drug of choice for pregnant women from 1957 -1961. How unfortunate that it caused all those horrific flipper arms and other birth defects. Oh well, these things happen! Help your psychiatrist fall asleep at night with this beautifully illustrated book of Thalidomide stories.
“Will Drug for Money” Mug
Delightful coffee mug for your prescription-writing psychiatrist. Help him stay awake while he’s writing yours! Comes in your choice of colors
Delight kids, friends, patients and colleagues with the Magic Pencil! Show them how they can treat depression and other mental disorders at home or school by shoving a pencil all the way through their ear until it comes out the other side. Amazing!
Wishing You and Yours a Safe & Psych-FREE Holiday and New Year!
From all one of us here at Psych-Times.com
DISCLAIMER: This blog is fictional parody written by a real estate nut who makes things up and writes them down. Don't believe a word she says.