Miami, Florida – Two Florida psychiatrists, recently convicted of Medicaid Fraud and facing 3 years of prison time, have been diagnosed with Pink Prison Panty Anxiety Disorder (PPPAD) and may require electric shock treatment after refusing medication and other psychiatric treatment.
According to a June 4 Miami Herald article a “12-person Miami jury convicted psychiatrists Mark Willner of Weston and Alberto Ayala of Coral Gables, the medical directors for American Therapeutic Corp., for their roles in a $205 million scheme to fleece the taxpayer-funded program for the elderly and disabled.”
According to the director of the Federal Detention Center where the pair are being held, both detainees have exhibited signs of PPPAD, a mood disorder that is characterized by frequent crying accompanied by an unusual fear of having to wear pink prison panties, pink lipstick and/or pink Kool-Aid (used dry as a make-up replacement in prison for staining lips and cheeks pink).
Willner and Ayala have refused to take any form of anti-anxiety medication, claiming that it causes serious and harmful side effects including suicide.
While there is no single cause of PPPAD, there are many factors that increase the risk of developing this disorder including terror at the thought of doing prison time among hard core criminals you previously victimized with drugs, sterilization and mind control experiments. (Oops. Didn’t think you’d ever see them again, didja boys?)
In-House Federal Detention Center psychiatrists are recommending that the two detainees be given a series of electric shock treatments so that “they’ll stop crying, stop worrying about the pink panties and just shut their friggin’ cake holes.”
“Frankly, we’re sick of hearing them mewl and whine. What’s the big deal? Pink panties and a little pink lipstick never hurt anybody. Besides, it’s not like they’re going to suffer. Most of the inmates in the federal penitentiary system take very good care of their bitches.”
UPDATE: 10/1/2012 - A Weston psychiatrist (Mark Wilner) was sentenced to 10 years in federal prison and ordered to pay more than $51.9 million in restitution Monday for his role in what prosecutors called “one of the largest and most brazen health care fraud conspiracies in recent memory.” see the full story here Weston doctor imprisoned for healthcare fraud in Boca Raton, Fort Lauderdale
Psych-Times editorial comment: Hmmm, I wonder how brazen Mark is going to look in his pink prison panties.DISCLAIMER: This blog is fictional parody written by a real estate nut who makes things up and writes them down. Don't believe a word she says.