Indianapolis, In – Hey kids! How would you like to have FREE rides and cotton candy for the rest of your life? And a chance to dunk Dr. Pedo File the Clown in a tank full of green Kool-Aid? Wouldn’t that be fun?
Well, here’s the deal. Just have your parents bring you to PsychWorld for a day of mental health screening, drug sampling, insurance questionnaires, cotton candy and thrilling rides.
While you’re waiting for your mental health screening results you can submit your entry form for a chance to win! Kids from all across America are coming. Don’t be left out!
Finf out if you are mentally ill and need drugs!
PsychWorld, a joint venture between Eli Lilly and Pfizer Pharmaceuticals is a brand new, world-class amusement park built just for you (with psychotropic drug profits) in beautiful Indianapolis, Indiana where they have all those fast race cars!
See everything PsychWorld has to offer. Now’s the perfect time to plan a fun-filled weekend get-away vacation! Here’s what you can expect on your day of psych fun;
1. Meet Dr. Mumbo Drugmo at the front gate for your tickets and a good start on the day with FREE samples of Ritalin, Prozac, Serefam, Zoloft, Luvox, Paxil, Celexa, Lexapro, Focalin, Methylin, Concerta, Focalin XR, Metadate CD, Daytrana, Dexedrine, Dextrostat, Adderall and Strattera (don’t worry…you’ll be given FREE carry all bags!)
2. Report to the medical center for a brief mental health screening survey that involves a two to five minute consultation with a qualified PsychWorld Psych who will ask you a few quick questions about yourself (things like: Do you like ice cream? Do you feel bad when you don’t get your own way? Do you wish you didn’t have to eat broccoli? Do you like to play instead of sitting still in school?)
3. Find out if you have a mental illness (based on the way you answered the questions) and if your health insurance coverage entitles your mommy and daddy to keep you on psychiatric drugs from Kindergarten through grade 12. If not, we may be able to arrange a government subsidy that taxpayers fund.
4. See a magic act and take a tour of the darkened Fun House with Dr. Pedo File, then get a chance to dunk him in a tank full of green Kool-Aid!
5. Enjoy mountains of pink or blue cotton candy and dozens of exciting rides, all compliments of PsychWorld.
And kids, don’t forget to tell your friends about your exciting trip to PsychWorld. Tell 10 kids and win your choice of a FREE sock monkey or pony ride! Tell 20 and win a guaranteed, high-paying public relations job in the pharmaceutical industry when you turn 18!DISCLAIMER: This blog is fictional parody written by a real estate nut who makes things up and writes them down. Don't believe a word she says.