Cincinnati, Ohio – Psych-Times.com, America’s favorite shrink wrapped news journal, is pleased to announce that Janssen’s INVEGA SUSTENNA, “approved for the acute and maintenance treatment of schizophrenia” has won this year’s coveted Amazingly Duplicitous Drug Advertising (ADDA) award for its appealing red internet ad, innovative “get your patient started on INVEGA for free” program and cunning use of officious psych speak.
According to their website, “Janssen Pharmaceuticals, Inc., a pharmaceutical company of Johnson & Johnson, provides medicines for an array of health concerns in several therapeutic areas.”
“That twirly thing on the front page of the ad is so sexy,” quipped Wanda Gurbling, member of the distinguished jury. Is that supposed to represent the plunger of a hypodermic needle? Ooohhhhh, all that twirling and plunging going on, it’s very engaging. (Is it hot in here? Could someone please turn the air conditioning back a little?). And the INVEGA SUSTENNA name is just brilliant. Invasive and sustaining, all at once. How convenient for that 25% to 60% of patients that do not take their anti-psychotic medication.”
The distinguished jury was particularly impressed with Janssen’s artful weaving of the drug’s contraindication language into its benefits. Side effects such as Cerebrovascular Adverse Events, Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome, QT Prolongation, Tardive Dyskinesia, Metabolic Changes, Hyperprolactinemia, Orthostatic Hypotension and Syncope, Leukopenia, Neutropenia and Agranulocytosis, Potential for Cognitive and Motor Impairment, Seizures and Suicide are skillfully and seamlessly blended into the drug’s benefits, almost as if they are the benefits.
“We especially enjoyed the locomotive train analogy,” said Gurbling. ”Medication is on board when administered once monthly.” “Isn’t that fun? All aboard the INVEGA SUSTENNA Schizophrenia train! Toot Toot!”
And remember, Johnson & Johnson’s Patient Assistance Foundation is “there to help you get the prescription products you need.” Isn’t that nice?
For further information see Scizophrenia: Psychiatry’s For Profit Disease.
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DISCLAIMER: This blog is fictional parody written by a real estate nut who makes things up and writes them down. Don't believe a word she says. 
