Washington, DC – When children head back to school, many kindergarteners will need to get the mental and dental checkup that the law now requires for their first year in public school.
The American Psychiatric Association in partnership with ADA is rolling out the second phase of its PsychDent media campaign to raise awareness of the requirement and assist parents in finding mental and dental care for their children.
Dear Parent or Guardian:
Your child is attending public school for the first time and beginning what we hope is a psychiatrically medicated learning adventure that will last a lifetime.
Many things influence a child’s progress and success in school – and two of the most important are their mental and dental health. Children must be healthy (both mentally and dentally) to learn and children with cavities or an inordinate amount of curiosity (mental illness) are not healthy.
To that end, we are offering parents of kindergarteners the opportunity to learn about the mandatory wellness check-up called PsychDent, details of which can be found buried somewhere in HB 1422, a 2572 page bill covering Medicaid reimbursements for dentures, diabetes supplies and Depends adult undergarments.
PsychDent is a mandatory screening program developed by Columbia University (in cooperation with the pharmaceutical industry) to identify cavities and risk factors associated with early stage depression, anxiety, and hyperactivity and use this opportunity to implant powerful time release psych drugs in the teeth of those children identified as hyperactive or bipolar.
During the screening, approved psychiatric dentists will examine your child’s teeth and look for signs of mental illness including fear of the doctor, anxiety, biting the doctor’s hand, crying, fear of hypodermic needles, struggling while being strapped into the dental chair and/or asking for their mommy instead of paying attention.
If your child exhibits any of these symptoms of mental illness, the doctor will implant a dental filling that releases a powerful psychiatric drug in much the same way that silver amalgam releases toxic mercury into the system over time. This implant system relieves the need for routine office visits until such time as the child loses the drug implanted tooth. The $5000.00 procedure is fully covered by most dental and health insurance plans and all participating children will get a sucker and free toothbrush.
Remember: to make sure your child is ready for school, the law now requires that your child have a mental/dental check-up by May 31 of his or her first school year. Mental/Dental evaluations that have happened within the 12 months before your child enters school also meet this requirement.
Your school will give you the required form to take with you when your child has his/her check-up. If you do not have a psychiatric dentist, PsychDent can assist you find one at PsychDent.com
DISCLAIMER: This blog is fictional parody written by a real estate nut who makes things up and writes them down. Don't believe a word she says. 
