AMBERLY VILLAGE, Oh - After coming to the realization that his profession is full of shit, Dr. Jacob L. Fluckstein is wondering if Risperdal induced Gynecomastia may be right for him.
“I don’t know, Fluckstein pondered, maybe I’ll focus on growing bigger breasts, man boobs if you will, instead of opening that Kettle Korn stand.” See Dr. Fluckstein’s earlier full of shit awareness article here.
“I’ve always kind of liked my enlarged breasts. They’re nice to have. Mother used to tell me they were proof that god has a sense of humor. Maybe Risperdal could help me turn them into something worthy of a party invitation once in a while.”
“Hey, Risperdal works for boys. I bet it would work for me too if I took enough of it. I hope they don’t take it off the market before I get a chance to try it out” See Fluckstein’s breast photo here
Fluckstein hatched his breast enlargement idea during a schizophrenia conference sponsored by Janssen Pharmaceuticals where representatives downplayed a recall of Risperdal tainted with tribromoanisole, a recent flood of lawsuits and controversy over the drug’s side effects.
Dr. Gordon (Gloria) Gladcock
Fluckstein met with several psychiatric colleagues who encouraged his endeavor. “Go for it, honey. If you’ve already got a good start on them, why not shoot for the moon, quipped Gordon (Gloria) Gladcock, psychiatrist and life partner of Dr. Stanley Evans. Stan had to shell out $5000 for mine. I just wish there was something I could take for this pesky five o’clock shadow. Seems like all I ever do is shave!”
“Worst case scenario is they don’t get any bigger, I’ll have to move forward with the Kettle Korn idea and I won’t get to experience the joy of wearing a real bra, said Fluckstein. I’d love to be able to wear one of those big-cupped contraptions like the ones I used to try on of mother’s.”
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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Risperal reproached.
Same saga here as Eli Lilly Zyprexa.
Johnson and Johnson is a trusted brand we associate with babies.Risperdal,Zyprexa,as well as the other atypical antipsychotics, are being prescribed for children, even though this is an unapproved, off-label use. An estimated 2.5 million children are now taking atypical antipsychotics. Over half are being given them for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder,many of these foster children.Weight gain, increases in triglyceride levels and associated risks for (life-long) diabetes and cardiovascular disease.
Lilly made $65 billion on Zyprexa!
–Daniel Haszard *Tell the truth don’t be afraid*
Thank you Daniel. You’re absolutely correct about J & J being associated with babies. And, I think, “all things good, healthy and wholesome.” Nothing could be further from the truth! Johnson and Johnson is Big Pharma. Criminal just like the rest of the players in this sick game.
Man boobs. Is that on the label as a “side effect”? How awful for young boys. If the FDA isn’t alarmed by this abnormal effect this drug is having on people and they haven’t pulled it off the market, they are just as culpable in this. What is “medicine” doing to us?!? I’ll tell ya . . . turning US into freaks. Stop the payola to the FDA officials.
Exactly. Exactly. Exactly.
Cynical humor…. I love it Loraine. Thanks for keeping it up!
Erick – Thanks for reading it!
My viewpoint on the Whitney affair- Copy and repost if you see fit– Erick
Ultimately we are responsible for our own condition, yes. Unfortunate for most however is they have no knowledge in the area. After all “doctor knows best”. Couple this with drug clouded reality, and the warning “DO NOT REDUCE OR STOP TAKING THIS MEDICATION WITHOUT CONSULTING YOUR DOCTOR”. Well I read this as dangerous withdrawals. If Xanax and alcohol in combination made one feel like a baseball bat to the head, one would stop– quickly. But that is not the case. It feels good. Such is the sad irony. Wait and see, I surmise the final report will read– a combination of alcohol and Xanax coupled with a rapid rise in body temperature (bath) lead to a rapid drop in blood pressure, resulting in unconsciousness , and then possibly drowning. From my viewpoint the issue here is that there are many fine people that simply don’t have the time to research it all, they depend on professional help, such as my CPA and tax advisor. And with Psychiatry pushing “feel good” since the 1960s and Big Pharma raking in over $330 billion dollars last year alone on psych drugs… well I think at least it is shared responsibility. Whitney paid the ultimate price, Pfizer? They just keep raking. How is this right, or just? R.I.P. Whitney
Spot on, Erick.